Bonus Joke - Alleviating Ear Pressure

During a commercial airline flight a retired TWA Pilot
was seated next to a young mother with a babe in arms.

When the baby began crying during the descent for landing,
the mother began nursing the infant as discreetly as possible.

The pilot pretended not to notice and, upon disembarking,
he gallantly offered his assistance to help with the various baby-related items.

When the young mother expressed her gratitude, the pilot responded,
"Gosh, that's a good looking baby...and he sure was hungry!"

Somewhat embarrassed, the mother explained that her pediatrician said
that the time spent on the breast would help alleviate the pressure in the baby's ears.

The TWA Pilot sadly shook his head, and in true pilot fashion exclaimed:

"And all these years......We've been chewing gum."

Bonus Joke - The Lawyer

An engineer, a physicist, and a lawyer were being interviewed for a position as chief executive officer of a large corporation. The engineer was interviewed first, and was asked a long list of questions, ending with,
"How much is two plus two?' 

The engineer excused himself, and made a series of measurements and calculations before returning to the board room and announcing,
"Four".

The physicist was next interviewed, and was asked the same questions. Again, the last question was,
"How much is two plus two?"

Before answering the last question, he excused himself, made for the library, and did a great deal of research. After a consultation with the United States Bureau of Standards and many calculations, he also announced,
"Four".

The lawyer was interviewed last, and again the final question was,
"How much is two plus two?"

The lawyer drew all the shades in the room, looked outside to see if anyone was there, checked the telephone for listening devices, and then whispered,
"How much do you want it to be?"