Breaking up - The Funny Side

If you are going to break up ....

Read on ...

* do it in a public place ... and not over a mushy plate of food!

* do it before dessert, that way you won't have coffee in your lap!

* If you hear a click-click noise behind you from your ex, after you announce you are breaking up, zig, zag, drop, roll !!

* have an escape plan ready, preferably something small and fast ... next to the exit door.

You Broke Up Because ...

* You were asked to be more affectionate, so you went out and got another girlfriend.

* You were right, but they were Righter!

* You realised you preferred your Dog's company to them.

* You love shopping with them -  "That one looks great on you"
   (= Pick any freakin' dress and let's go home!)

* You love shopping with them -  "I like that one better."
   (= Pick any freakin' dress and let's go home!)

 * You love shopping with them -  "Uh huh"
  (= Pick any freakin' dress and let's go home NOW!)

* Of little issues like ...  "Yes, I like the way you cut your hair."
  (= $50 and it doesn't look that much different)


* Of big issues like ...  "Yes, I like the way you cut your hair."
  (= For $50 they should have GIVEN you hair!)




What They Really Mean ...

* Him: "I want you back" .. for tonight anyway

* Her: "I like you but" ... I don't like you.

* Her: " I just need some space" ... without you in it!

* Her: "No, pizza's fine" ... cheap bastard!

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